Gone, Gone, Gone
by Mrs. HopeEstheim
Summary: Gone, gone, gone. Like everyone else.


**Hey, gues. Mrs. HopeEstheim is back for another random NaLu fic. **

**To tell you the truth, I had no idea what I was typing. I just opened a word document and started to type. It's in a different tense than I usually write, so it might seem a little weird to those of you who read my stories. It's a little weird to me, actually, but...I hope you like it anyway. Haha.**

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><p>Little by little, she gives in.<p>

After all, there isn't anything left for her back there, not anymore. The sweet, angelic little Wendy Marvell was gone, talking to Porlyusica, the Edolas Grandine, and learning from her even as she searches for clues to where Earthland's Grandine was. And then there was Gajeel Redfox and his Exceed companion Pantherlily, who had taken her darling bookworm friend Levy McGarden with them when the iron dragonslayer decided it was time he tried to find Metallicana. Cana had left to find Gildartz again, to help her father if she could and if he lets her. Mira and Fried had left on a honeymoon, Lisanna and Bixlow on a two year long job, and Evergreen and Elfman had just eloped one day to no-one-knew-where. Laxus popped in only sporadically to take new jobs, and the Master was always off visiting his old friends. And Gray had gone off with Lyon and Juvia to search for any possible way to recreate Ul from the waters of the ocean that held her memories. Sherry, from Lamia Scale like Lyon, had went along with them. Nab actually began doing jobs so he was there less often, and Erza decided it was time to do a long mission on her own for the first time in a while and so she was gone, too. Everyone was gone. Laki, Mickey, even Romeo and Macao and Wakaba. Those who were left weren't nearly as entertaining as everyone else. Especially since Natsu Dragneel was gone.

Gone…just like everyone else.

He'd just left one day, without saying goodbye to anyone and without taking Happy with him. She still remembers how Happy had cried for weeks and weeks on end after Natsu had practically betrayed him and run off. It was after Erza had left, so she couldn't have gone to chase him down, and it was after everyone else was gone, too.

Gone, gone, gone.

And with him, her heart, her soul, and her will to live.

She gives _him_ whatever he wants because he promises to destroy the guild if she doesn't.

_He_ was cruel and unkind. She'd been his prisoner since she had left Fairy Tail with a few jobs of her own laid out and a determination to do something, _anything_, to get her mind off of how lonely she was. She still is lonely. It doesn't matter that she has _him_, because he doesn't have her heart like her idiot did–does? Because he has to still be alive. She can't keep going if he's not…if there wasn't a hope that someday he just might come to save her, she would give up completely. Hopeless. Listless.

The light in her eyes fades as each day passes by.

The days leave her behind in the unending menagerie of years, twisting and blending effortlessly together so that she doesn't even remember how long it's been anymore. One year? Two? And she can't help it when she wonders if anyone back home ever noticed…or did they just not _care_ anymore? The jobs she took back then were simple and should have been completed in a few months, tops. Had any of them noticed that she continued to be absent? Had they even tried to look for her?

She tried to escape in the beginning, but he wouldn't let her go. He always caught her right before she could fling herself from his fortress and run, run, run just as fast as she could. Her captor had dragged her back time after time, away from the tantalizing rays of sunlight that came to be known as _freedom_ in the feverish mind of the poor, forgotten, fading mage. He talked to her in a consoling tone, as if she was just experiencing some brief emotional lapse, even if she had always known it was a lie.

He always says he loves her, but she doesn't believe it.

This man…she didn't think he'd ever loved anything in his entire life. If he loved her he wouldn't pin her down or force himself upon her. He wouldn't hurt her, or hit her, or starve her, or leave her chained in a dungeon when she didn't obey whatever he told her to do. If he really loved her, he would have understood the yearning inside of her, her want or her _need_ to see the outside world again. He would understand that she needed to be free because wasn't she just as light and airy as the wind, flitting from place to place as she pleased?

If he loved her, he'd let her go.

But he didn't love her.

She spent much of her time chained to a wall in a dungeon for refusing him, towards the beginning. She spat at him, clawed at him, shouted at him, bit him, screamed at him, slapped him, punched him, and even kneed him, but it never got her anywhere but back in the same dark and damp cell with shackles around her wrists. She didn't care at first, because it kept her safe from _him_, for the most part. But it couldn't keep her safe from herself and her thoughts and all of her doubts.

She was giving in.

The girl didn't even know when it began. She didn't know when she first let him kiss her, that disgusting mouth crushing hers underneath and his all too eager hands running across her body. She remembered that she had been disgusted with herself, and hated herself, and had just wanted it all to end, but it had only been the beginning. After that it didn't matter if she refused him…he'd force himself on her.

He didn't care if he didn't have her heart, and he didn't seem to care if she was an unwilling participant. She knew he didn't love her.

He uses her.

And there isn't anything she can do to stop it.

Sometimes she can't even remember her name anymore because it's been so long since she's been called by it. When she tries to remember it, sometimes it flits back into her memory, just out of reach. But sometimes she doesn't even have to try and she remembers it instantly, as if it's something she's known forever, since before she was even born. As if it's part of her very being, not just what she's _called_. Almost as if her name is _more_ than just a name she's called by, more than just a name given to the little pink lump of flesh in her mother's arms however many years before. As if she _is_ the name, it's right there. Sometimes. But most of the time she still knows her name. She would be worried if she didn't know it as often as she does, but it still worries her that she knows it less often than she should.

She's Lucy Heartfilia.

When she's forgotten but remembers it's like a rush of relief overcomes her. It's as if no matter what happens she's still just Lucy and that everything _he_ does is to some completely disassociated part. It's as if the Lucy who gives in isn't one and the same…even if she knows that she is.

She's weak.

She's always known that she was weak. She's always hated how weak she was, how she could never help her friends when they needed her most. Lucy always hates to remember her uselessness, but it just happens and she can't stop it anymore. And so she lets herself remember, because if she remembers that and all of her friends then she doesn't have to pay attention to what _he's_ doing to her. It's childish, her way of thinking. Almost like she's telling herself that if she doesn't acknowledge it, it isn't happening. But it _is_ and deep down she knows it.

And when Lucy finds out that she's been hidden away as a captive to this cruel man for only almost a year now, she thinks she might cry. How could she have fallen so far in such a short time? She hates herself for so much that she's done, for everything that he's been able to do to her. He was able to take her keys from her, and she still doesn't know where they are. She wants to cry even more when she realizes that. Would her celestial spirits hate her as much as she hates herself? The thought was a scary one, and it led to another.

Would her guild mates hate her like she hates herself?

She succumbs to a bout of tears, huddling in the cell that she's been thrown in for refusing him for the first time in what had to have been two or more months. And she's glad she's refused him again, glad for the relative familiarity of the cold cell and glad for a respite from his lustful glances. It surprises her when she realizes he hasn't gone further than forceful kisses and greedy groping, that he hasn't taken the one part of her she had always hoped to save for someone who loves her and who she loves, too. And she thinks that he should have by now, with how he treats her, but for the moment she's thankful she still has that part intact.

Maybe, Lucy hopes, she'll still be saved before he can take it from her.

She'd given up.

Lucy can't deny that she's given it all up. Her hopes, her dreams…_gone_. Just as gone as everyone else. And it leaves her feeling lonelier than she's ever felt, except for when her mother died, because it makes her think she really is all alone. The hope that she'll still be saved is a faint flutter in the back of her mind that can't ever truly surface in her daily life, but it's the one hope that's still there. It's as if Lucy's mind is _the_ Pandora's Box, (which, Lucy thinks, was actually more like a jar than a box, wasn't it?) and all emotions except for hope have escaped.

She can't feel anything, it's true. Well, mostly. Because she still hates herself. How can she not? She gave up so much, and for what? And she's still giving up so much. So, so much. She can't stand to look at herself when he forces her to clean up and there's a mirror there. In fact, she comes to hate the three days a week where he orders her to clean up so badly that she starts to protest that, too. It's not that she doesn't like being clean, because she loves being all squeaky clean, but it isn't the same when it's not her apartment and it's not her dragonslayer waiting outside for her to be done.

_Her dragonslayer_…?

When did she start thinking of him like that?

Lucy doesn't know and frankly, she doesn't care anymore. She's becoming more listless in her thoughts and actions, though she takes care to keep refusing him. At some point, she knows, he's going to crack and try to force himself upon her but until then, Lucy decides she's got to stay strong. He hasn't threatened Fairy Tail in a long time…maybe since she's refusing him again he will? And she knows that she'll crack when he does that because Lucy would do anything, _anything at all_, to protect her comrades, even if she has to give her body over to this cruel, cruel man.

She's disgusted with it all. With herself, with _him_, but mostly with the life she's leading. She can't even remember how he captured her anymore, but she hates herself again because that's all she can do now. She can't change the past and the future is always changing. She knows that. But Lucy doesn't know what to do with herself. She sometimes despairs that she'll be stuck here until she dies, forced to be the playtoy for such a sick, twisted man. She hates to admit it, but she just wants it to end.

And she's afraid, too.

How could she not be? He comes to her more often lately since her refusals began again, and she knows he's about to break from just a look in his eyes. Sooner or later, most likely sooner, he's going to snap completely and take whatever he wants from her. She can tell he wants it _all_, and it frightens her so much more than she thought it could. Even if she's given up before and knows she probably will again…it's scary. She doesn't like to think about it but she can't help herself. And not for the first time, she wishes she had her very own knight in shining armor to run in and save her from this hell. She wants to live happily ever after like all the heroines in all her books…but she can't.

It takes a few more days, but just like she knew he would, her captor snaps.

She's dragged all the way up to what they all call his 'chambers', because his home is like a miniature palace and it's some sort of twisted parody of the royal family's castle. And when she's there, he throws her down. It hurts, and he knows it and she knows that he knows it, but he's not remorseful. He never is.

Lucy closes her eyes, because she knows what's coming. And he pulls her to her feet and forces those disgusting lips on hers, just as she's been dreading. The next time he throws her down, it's on his mattress, and she knows her worst fears are about to come true and there's nothing she can do to stop it. She's on the edge of malnutrition and she's weak because of it. He's in prime condition and so much stronger than she is, so she knows she can't stop him and he must know it too. The lump that forms in her throat is one of fear, because when she opens her eyes and looks into his clouded blue ones she sees no emotion from him at all. The only thing she sees in him is lust, and she's scared.

When he takes what's left of her, Lucy will be gone, too.

Gone, gone, gone.

Like everyone else.

Her eyes are squeezed shut again, because she can't look at him any longer than she has to. Her senses are on high alert, and she's almost hypersensitive like she always thought the dragonslayers were. And so she hears the crash below them first, but he hears the screams that follow. Lucy has let her eyes come open again to see his brows as they furrow in a strange mixture of emotions. Curiosity, anger, and then indifference. His searching hands are quick to find the hem of her shirt again even as she hears another crash.

"_Everything's on fire!_" she hears someone scream. Lucy thinks the words should have some significance but at the moment they don't because her shirt is inching up and she can't stop it. Only one of his hands is there–his other hand is holding her wrists above her head and no matter how she squirms she can't get loose.

"_What do you want from Lord Yuukihito?_" another voice yells below them, ending in a scream. A lower, growling tone meets Lucy's hears even as she whimpers. Her shirt is nearly up to her sizeable chest and she doesn't want this, never wanted this.

"_She's up there with him–_" the words cut of in another scream. Lucy can't peg the significance of the scream, of why she was mentioned, but she chooses to trust the mysterious person or people. She doesn't know if it's a smart choice but to her, anything is better than _this_.

"_Help_!" she shrieks, and the man above her flinches from the sheer force and volume of her shrill tone. A loud crash below follows as a hand clamps over her lips and the cruel man sneers down at her. And she corrects any former thoughts because _this_ is the most scared she's ever been. The feeling of certainty that wells in her chest tells her that this is the end that she's been hoping for as the days pass…but now she doesn't want it to end anymore. Not when she might be so close to a rescue!

But she should have known better than to hope, Lucy tells herself. The only person who could have possible found her was gone, is gone, has been gone for who-knows-how-long. Over a year, since she's been here for one year, two weeks, and five days now.

"You'll shut up if you know what's good for you," she's told, and they're the first words she's ever actually paid attention to when he speaks. And he moves his hand, reaching to continue with her shirt and she's so damn _scared_ that she can't take it anymore and she struggles although she knows it's futile. He growls deep in his throat and she stills, eyes growing watery. And she's surprised she hasn't cried yet, but she's about to.

She notices the flying, splintered debris in the air and the dust before she registers the loud explosion that had caused them and before she knows it the dirty slug is off of her, slamming against the far wall with such force that it cracks around him.

"Lucy…Luce…let's get out of here."

But it can't be him, she thinks. He's gone, gone, gone, like everyone else. Like everyone and everything. Like her heart. The biggest part of her that went with him.

But it _is_ him, and the tears in her eyes turn from frightened ones to those of relief and she throws herself against him. He's warm, unbelievably so, and so she knows she's not dreaming. She knows it's all real.

"Natsu!" she wails, clinging to him. He tugs her shirt down to cover her exposed skin, a thoughtful gesture that had her wanting to burst into tears (as if she wasn't already crying), and he says soothing words as he strokes her hair. And she can't believe it's him but even if she can't she _does_ because it _is_ him and it can't be anyone else. She realizes that she's had her knight in shining armor all along, the one she's always wished for, and she just never realized it until now. Lucy also starts to understand that she loves him more than anything in the world and that's why she's felt so betrayed since he left. But she doesn't need to tell him that because she thinks he knows.

And he's not gone anymore, so she's not lonely anymore.

And that's how it was always supposed to be.

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><p><strong>So...yeah. I will admit I don't think it's my best ever (my personal favorite is probably still <em>Don't Say Goodbye<em>, one of my songfics) but...I guess it might be okay. Haha. Tell me what you think, okay? I seriously had no clue what I was typing. I didn't lie when I said that at the top. I just kind of went with it and whenever I had a random idea I used it. I hope it's to your liking! At least a little. XD**


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